Tuesday, February 28, 2012

musings on living alone

I like it. For now. But after having a visitor for three nights-- someone to wake up to and fall asleep with-- I'm reminded how nice that is. Especially if that person makes you laugh and washes your breakfast dishes for you. Having the bed made by someone else is also a bonus. Some things are better when they are shared. 

For now I'll drink tea and do my homework in my pajamas late into the night. I'll run to the bus in the morning with my backpack on and wet hair blowing behind me. I'm cool with that. 

I'm also happy knowing each day I can love where I am because I am one day closer to another life. One where maybe I am putting littles to bed in feetie pjs and helping them with their coloring. I'll pack them lunches of peanut butter and jelly and help them put their tiny backpacks on as they scurry to the bus. My husband can wash the dinner dishes. I think that part will be fun too. Eventually. 


Wednesday, February 22, 2012


I need to be pinched. My life has felt UNREAL lately. You know when everything is going well, and you are getting everything you want? Yeah? Me neither. I'm not complaining, my life is pretty grand in many ways, but it still shocks me when the stars align sometimes. In my head I am still that girl who wore sneakers that were too big for her, whose jeans were baggy in the butt in middle school, and who had braces far too long into high school. Popular girls made fun of me for bringing my lunch in a cooler. (Maybe I deserved that...) 

But reality has a way of changing. I'm 26 now. I was recently elected president of my grad program. I just saw a press release about some volunteer work I did in the Dominican Republic on the school's website. My friend sent me some gorgeous photos she took of me over the holidays. I think I am going to Africa for the summer. (Fingers crossed.) I'm growing up. Or maybe, I am just growing into those shoes that were too big for me when I was 16. I needed time to learn who I was and what I wanted and how to make that happen. Suddenly, and surprisingly, it's happening. 

"Enjoy the power and beauty of your youth. Oh never mind, You will not understand the power and beauty of your youth until they've faded. But trust me, in 20 years you'll look back at photos of yourself and recall in a way you can't grasp now how much possibility lay before you and how fabulous you really looked. You're not as fat as you imagine."

"Whatever you do, Don't congratulate yourself too much, or berate yourself too much either. Your choices are half chance. So are everybody else's." 

-Baz Luhrmann

Tuesday, February 21, 2012

heart like mine

I saw Miranda Lambert on Sunday night in Greensboro, NC. It was a PHENOMENAL show. I think there are few performers who are as good live as recorded and Miranda totally rocked it. I just want to go shopping and grab drinks with her.

One of my favorite songs of hers is Heart Like Mine

Well I heard Jesus, he drank wine 
And I bet we'd get along just fine
He could calm the storm and heal the blind
And I bet he's understand a heart like mine 

Monday, February 20, 2012

these are the ways you love yourself (to forgive)- re-post

I read this today, on The Wild and Wily Ways of a Bombshell Brunette. I hope she doesn't mind, but I have to re-post this, because it's amazing and true. I think there is something in there that speaks to each of us. 

Forgive yourself the nights you climb into bed full-face of makeup, too tired to take it off. forgive yourself the days when one latte is not enough, when the two major food groups are coffee and sugar. forgive yourself that one night when at two am you woke to use the bathroom and inhaled an entire chocolate bar instead. forgive the time spent with a man you now have not one nice thing to say about. and forgive just how long it took to get over him. he was not good and not kind and he is not your fault. keep some secrets closer. forgive yourself for actually loving the gentle curve of your hips. and to hell with a society which suggests you might not or should not. they herald your womanhood, the man you marry will lose himself in them, they will hoist groceries and children. they are sturdy--anchoring you firmly to this earth. forgive the nights you cannot sleep--sadness or some unnamed force pressing heavy on your chest. forgive the mistakes of the last several years. so you made them. okay. enough. move on. the mistakes and the fault-lines, they are the foundation. forgive yourself that you did not choose an easier path. and forgive yourself the sadness you caused those around you. the broken-promises and cutting words and the things left unsaid. fear was large and biting. forgive the anger you feel. feel it and then look again with kinder eyes. forgive yourself for not handling it all better, for feeling like you let others down. the path is not done, the road is not finished, why are you trying so hard to rush the whole thing? celebrate the fact that your story has some major departures. go ahead and use that expensive serum that promises to diminish those fine lines. protect and preserve your skin. but when the day does come when forehead creases no longer fade into the background, give thanks. humanity made visible! you will be loved all the more for this. you will love yourself all the more for this.  and please, for the love of all that is good and holy forgive yourself for loving a man who cannot love you back. love him anyway. send that love into the world and let it fill you up. the only way to know the story is to go out and and write it. live your way into it. ferociously. begin to live and work and fight and love with an unparalleled ferocity. let fear dictate nothing. unfurl your chest, you have all the armor you'll ever need. see with wide eyes and don't forget to laugh.

Friday, February 17, 2012

veggie monster

Last weekend, I ate a lot of meat. Pastrami, meatballs, BBQ, bacon...for a near vegetarian I felt like I needed to go on detox this week. This week, I ate a lot of salad. I think I perfected my new favorite salad:

Mixed greens
1/4 cup of chickpeas
Handful of Craisins 
Chopped carrots
Crumbled goat cheese
Crushed pita chips  
(occasionally sliced turkey) 

Dressing: a drizzle of garlic infused olive oil and a few shakes of red wine vinegar, with some salt and pepper to taste. 

Try it! Yummy, filling and healthy. 

Thursday, February 16, 2012


For the first time ever, I can hear my downstairs neighbors doing the horizontal tango. 

Man, that's a lot of headboard banging. I thought that only happened in movies. 


Tuesday, February 14, 2012

Happy Valentine's Day!

I hope you are all feeling happy and loved today. Think for a moment about all the people you have loved in life and the people who have loved you. Pretty astounding isn't it?! 

Here are some fun V-day links from around the web:

Tonight I am making gluten free brownies for one of my girlfriends here in grad school. I came across this chocolate gluten free cake recipe that looks pretty yummy. 

Red lipstick is perfect for Valentine's Day

You never know, the love of your life could be right around the corner.

I'm watching the movie Valentine's Day tonight, eating desserts, and drinking wine with some fabulous lady friends. Do you have fun plans?

Sunday, February 12, 2012

Monday, February 6, 2012


I recognize that I have been delinquent on this blog. I'd like to say I have a good reason. All I can think of is a line from 500 Days of Summer:

"What happened?"
"What always happens. Life." 

School has been busy, I'm searching for the perfect summer internship overseas, spending amazing weekends with my friends at school and working on sorting out my love life. In a word, "life." 

I will hopefully put something thoughtful up soon. Hope you are all enjoying your own "life."

And I found this lovely new food blog today, Eat This Poem. Check it out. It looks delicious.