begin again

I've been really into the idea of rebirth lately. I feel like my life has just undergone another unexpected turn (when will I stop thinking I can predict and plan for everything?) But this is a really good unexpected turn. The kind you hope for as a little girl. The kind I had rationalized myself out of believing could happen. And now that it is happening, it is that much more surprisingly wonderful. Check out Taylor Swift's new song, Begin Again. Couldn't have said it any better.

what's simple is true

Hey there. I know, it has been a while since I've visited. I was wrapped up with finals and the end of the semester, but I officially finished my first year of graduate school! It feels so soo good. Last August I was hoping I made the right choice, to quit my job, move, and go to school full time. In the moment everything felt so contingent. The earth felt like it was shifting under my feet and I was jumping off a cliff. All of those cliche metaphors for change in your life. But you know what, sometimes we know better than we think we do. Ideas that seem like they *might* be a good idea are actually amazing ones. And if you are lucky, which I often think I am blessed to be, everything worked out for more than the best. 

I went to a graduation party for some friends who will be moving away from North Carolina. In one moment I stopped and looked around and felt so happy. I had amazing friends I had just met 8 months before who felt like family, there was good, simple food, champagne and a bonfire roaring. It was festive and people were happy. I rode my bike to the party which I just had fixed and I think will change my life. Graduate school is hard. There is no two ways about that, but life in North Carolina? It just seems more simple. A self-proclaimed city girl, I can now say that often, simple can be just as good as flashy restaurants and new high heels and taxis. 
 

my saturday morning

play

“We don't stop playing because we grow old; we grow old because we stop playing.”

         George Bernard Shaw

 

Hope you have a wonderful, playful weekend!  

lucky

I talk about friends a lot. By the ripe age of 26, I feel lucky to have met so many amazing people that I am lucky enough to call friends. I've found some of them in the usual places like school, and others I have found on stage, through failed romances, or during summer camp. Tonight I had the pleasure of dinner with some former colleagues. To just call them colleagues would be the understatement of the year. I have gone to visit work friends twice since I have been back in the DC area for my break. Each time I have left feeling really warm inside. Like my heart is smiling. I miss these people. It's also much more enjoyable to spend time when them when the focus isn't deadlines and meetings, but sharing our lives and how they have transformed, and yet felt comfort in the fact that even as things change, sometimes in the most important ways, we do not. 

In the absence of a big love in my life right now, this friend love has been the thing that makes my heart swell. I saw girls this week that I have known for thirteen years. People move and get jobs and married, but a few days a year we forgot the things that push us physically apart and allow the laughter and past to hold us together. It's nice. It's also good to remember that not all love is romantic, and from what I have seen, the non-romantic love has had some serious staying power. 

Big kisses to the universe for sending wonderful people my way. 

PS- Check out this little gem. Oh you know, just Zooey and Joseph hanging out, playing music. (If anyone knows them, tell them to invite me next time. I am accepting new friends!)

perfect

Sometimes in life you get days where all the pieces come together. The weather, the company, the spirit. These days are rare, but when they happen everything seems right in the world. Life feels like it is happening just like it should. 

Fireplaces and peppermint icing just add to the magic.

sit back down where you belong, in the corner of my bar with your high heels on

I have mentioned the Crunkleton before. It is my most favorite bar in Chapel Hill, but with cocktails running around $12 a piece, I have to go sparingly. Last night was another end of semester celebration with some friends in my program, so bottoms up, of course had to be somewhere most fabulous. 

I was dressed in black fishnets, a black 3/4 sleeve dress with a big wide belt around the middle, high heels, big dangly earrings, and my hair up in a loose updo. It was a night for dress up. A night to feel like an adult instead of a student. 

The bar was relatively empty, so we were chatting it up with the bar tender who put something new to drink in front of me every time I turned around. There is just something about holding a cocktail that makes me feel like a lady. 

Around midnight, the bartender comes over and says, "Hey, those guys at the end of the bar want to buy you a drink. They are UNC's male soccer coaches and just won the national soccer championship."

I politely declined the drink, because, of course I was "leaving at any minute!" but as the night went on our two groups combined, and I found myself, sitting at the corner of the bar with my high heels on chatting it up with some UNC celebrities. (It's a funny thing when you realize you are closer in age to coaches now than players.) They were completely nice gentleman and around 2am we all parted ways. I may never see them again, but it was a fun evening had by all. I love this town.

gonna wish i had a storm warning

This song is getting me through all the craziness of exams. 




Be the force of nature. 

she dances

She dances to the moonlight as the constellations watch her movements.
They shine their golden dust on her, as her body sings the melody of love.
She’s hungry to feel, to give, to be the supernatural man-made star.
The illuminated wonders of a girl that doesn’t know...


From here

thanksgiving reflections

Somehow, my family managed to pull off one of the best Thanksgivings we have had in years. Everyone was nice and loving to each other, we sat at the dinner table for close to 3 hours talking, telling stories, and sharing little tidbits about our lives. The whole clan was captivated. 


With all the craziness in life and finals coming up, I feel like its important to remember and reflect on those seemingly perfect moments in life. 


I was listening to Miranda Lambert's House that Built Me on my drive home. Even though I've moved around my whole life, I really like the sentiment. "Out here it's like I'm someone else, I thought that maybe I could find myself..." Nothing like being with family and just getting to be who you are, unapologetically. 

thanksgiving come early

Thanksgiving is my favorite holiday. This year I'll be driving up to DC from the land of sweet tea for a few days and then continuing north to Haddonfield, NJ to visit with my mom's side of the family. For me, it's the way Thanksgiving should be. We drink gin and tonics, graze all day, laugh a lot, sit in front of a fire place, and watch football. Its magical. 

I get reflective around Thanksgiving. So much has happened since last year when I was in the middle of grad school applications, working full time, and spending the holiday with my then boyfriend while plotting what was to come. The future was a big question mark. Now that I can see the view from this side, I can say with confidence that it is beautiful. People say that everything always works out. Sometimes you just have to trust the process and let it happen. I wasn't disappointed. Life is never perfect, but when I can look around and see that it is my own, that is something to be thankful for. 

One last thing. This year I am particularly thankful for friends. Old home crew friends who know me better than myself, college roommates that I shared closets and secrets with, DC friends I made in the last few years that I count among my closest confidants, and the new group of girls I've come to know here in North Carolina and have me laughing every day. Life wouldn't be nearly as sweet without them. So thank you, to those who may be reading this, for being part of my life. I couldn't do it without you! 

Wishing you and yours a wonderful holiday. See you next week. 

people and community

I like meeting new people and connecting with them. Even if it's convincing the middle age woman at the mall that she needs those leopard pumps for her holiday parties. I liked meeting one of my friend's parents this weekend-- she and her mom have the same laugh--amazing. I enjoy hanging out with someone you know a little, and after one night you feel like you know them so much more. Those nights are pretty cool, especially when I think about how I used to coexist in an office environment everyday with so many people I knew on a superficial level.


I guess what I am trying to say is that for an extrovert like me, this little southern town fits. People want to know each other. Barriers aren't quiet as defined as they were in the big city. It's refreshing. 

raise your glass

I have never had more spontaneously happy moments than during the 2 months of living in North Carolina thus far. This place is magical with all its friendly people, amazing night life, and socially conscious community. 

LOVE.